The first few weeks postpartum can be really hard. As parents, especially new parents, you’re getting used to having sole responsibility for another little person. Your poor little baby, who has spent the last 9 months being constantly held, nourished, and kept warm, is quite literally pushed into a cold environment where they feel hunger for the first time. It’s a huge adjustment time for everyone. Here are a couple of tips to make your fourth trimester a little easier.
Let go of your sleep expectations. Let baby sleep when and where they need to. If you are able to lay down when your little one does, do so. If your baby sleeps for a long stretch at the beginning of the night, make sure you are in bed early. You will be able to help your baby adjust to your family’s ideal sleep schedule after the first few weeks. Remind yourself that it is normal for new babies to wake at night, and they really, truly, do grow out of it eventually.
Feed on demand. Whether you are breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or a bit of both, feed your baby when they show signs of hunger rather than on a time schedule. Very young babies have fluctuating needs for calories from day to day as they go through growth spurts. If you are breastfeeding, allowing your baby to eat when they are hungry (and for as long as they want) is a big part of making enough milk for your baby. Your baby signals to your body how much milk it needs by how often and how much it nurses.
Hold your baby. Frequent holding helps a newborn to regulate their breathing, heart rate, and temperature. Very young babies are not mature enough to self soothe. Some newborns may want to be held a lot. This is where a baby carrier is very useful!
Don’t worry about creating “bad” habits. Just because your 3 week old is nursing through her nap does not mean your 5 month old will be. Children are very adaptable, especially when changes are made slowly and with respect.
People are more important than things. Your needs, those of your new baby, and your family are more important than a clean house and a to do list with everything checked off. Of course, certain things must be seen to for your family to continue functioning. Everyone must eat and have something to wear, but let as much of everything else go as you need to.
Do what works for your family. Every family is different. When making parenting decisions ask yourself “Is this safe?” and “Is it respectful of our family’s (including baby’s) needs?” If the answers are yes, then carry on!
In a few months time life will settle into a bit of a pattern - like any job, you get better at it with practice.
